One night when I got frisky 
Over some potent whisky, 
Like waves in the Bay of Biscay,
I began to tumble and roar. 
My face was red as a lobster, 
I fell and I broke my nob, sir, 
My watch was picked from my fob, sir
I'll never get drunk anymore.

Now, I'm resolved to try it, 
111 live upon moderate diet 
I'll not drink but will deny it, 

And shun each ale-house door
For that's the place they tell us, 
We meet with all jovial good fellows 
But, I swear by the poker and bellows, 

I'll never get drunk any more. 

The landlady is unwilling 
To credit you for a shilling, 
She straightways sends her bill in. 
And asks you to pay your score. 
And if with money your stocked, 
She'll not stop till she's emptied your pocket. 
Then the cellar door is locked, 

And you cannot get drunk any more. 

So by me now take caution, 
Put drinking out of fashion, 
For your own brains out you're dashing

Don't you feel your head quite sore? 
For when all night you've tarried 
Drinking of punch and claret. 
In the morning home you're carried, 

A man that's fond of boozing. 
His cash goes daily oozing
His character he*s losing, 

And its loss he will deplore. 
His wife is unprotected, 
His business is neglected, 

So, do not get drunk any more.